Conversion of the Heart

We are all called to become a better version of ourselves. If anyone is satisfied with who they are today, they only have to dig deeper to see that there is much work to do. But there is purpose in the work if the end goal is worth the struggle. So what is your end goal? Who do you want to become?

Today, it doesn’t really matter who you become…or what you do…or watch…or eat…or marry…It’s a “you-do-you” society with everyone as their own measuring stick. So your end goal looks different than your best friend or spouse’s end goal. That makes sense, though, right? I mean, we’re all unique and have different aspirations and talents. Sure we do, but we are also all human.

So then, we must ask the question: what does it mean to be human? What makes us different than our pet dogs? Reason, for one. We may shovel food into our mouths like dogs, but we know what food is good for us and what is not (whether we adhere to our knowledge or not is a different problem). We also are worshippers. Of something. Or someone. It doesn’t matter if you call yourself religious or not; you worship something in your life, whether it be success or money or family. If being human is to have reason and to worship, then how do we become fully human? How do we live the best life possible?

It starts with a conversion of the heart. We must admit that although we are beautiful, we are broken and in need of repair. Look at our world: it has gorgeous mountains and the prettiest flowers but also is full of envy, murder, abuse, and hate. It’s messed up because people decided to be their own measuring sticks; they decided that they knew what was best for themselves and for the world. So the first step is admitting we are capable of messing up.

But we must have something to convert, or change, to. And that is the question with which we must all wrestle. What mold are you trying to fit? Who are you trying to become?

As for me, I want to become like the best Person who ever lived. I want to love like He did and be willing to take risks for the Truth like He did. I want to always put others first. I want to accept grace and give it generously. I don’t want to live an easy life; I want to live a good life, one that is full of grace. And so, my conversion of the heart is a change towards becoming like Jesus Christ, the One who gave His life for me so that I may have life and life to the full (John 10:10).

Are you willing to be changed into a better version of yourself? Who will you become?

Being Single

Is a gift. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Sometimes I bang my head against a plank and say that to myself a bazillion times (Monty Python reference). When I go on Facebook, it seems like every single one of my friends is either getting married or having a baby. Now let’s remind ourselves that this is mostly in the Christian world because marriage is still important…I could write a whole ‘nother blog (or 30) on the state of marriage in today’s culture but that isn’t the focus of today’s blog. So as a result of all this oooohing and ahhhhing over babies and gorgeous wedding dresses, I find myself in FOMO world…Fear of Missing Out. I’m convinced it’s one of the top 10 diseases in the U.S. right now…and I definitely have symptoms. I ask myself, “Am I enough without having a man by my side?” or “Why isn’t anyone pursuing me?” or “Am I called to be celibate?”. I hope you single friends can relate. Being single is HARD. BUT…I’ve been talking a lot to my married friends and apparently…marriage is HARD too. I think the bottom line is this: we are each called to specific roles at specific times and we need to give our all to who is present in our lives right now.

This week, I have experienced the beauty of singleness and seen the beauty of marriage as well. I’m currently in San Francisco (which is a great city-go and visit!). I came to California for a wedding and then decided to stay and explore a bit. The wedding was beautiful…but my heart was not in the right place. I was jealous. How can one of my good friends find a man so perfect for her and in love with her while I’ve only been on 2 dates total?? Ugh… I was pretty disgusted with myself. However, I took advantage of my singleness and traveled to San Francisco right away. And this week, I’ve experienced the blessings of singleness:

• spontaneously finding a place to stay Monday night for one independent woman
• my own spontaneous agenda every day
• biking all around the city at my own speed
• getting to meet strangers (homeless people, regular customers at cafes, other tourists)
• being flexible with my plans
• spontaneously hanging out with my cousin George and his friends

Nevertheless, the most fulfilling part of this week has been being able to serve my host family and observe them in action. I knew of them because we have a lot of the same connections in Philadelphia, and they have invited me into their family life this week. I’ve seen the cuddles and fights, heard the whining and begging, and stepped in cat’s puke this morning. But more importantly, I’ve been able to watch the parents love their children with a love greater than themselves. The father works hard to support his family, and when he’s home, he gives his wife and kids all his attention. The mother spends all of her energy addressing every issue, treating every wound, settling every argument, feeding every mouth, and listening to every child. This family is awesome, and I hope to raise my kids like this someday. But it’s not easy, and I’ve found myself being grateful for the time I have as a single person. In fact, the reason I started this blog today was because I knew the mother of three had an article to write for tomorrow and if she can raise three kids and still write, I can certainly make time to write!

Our time is precious, but it’s not our time; it’s God’s. After much excitement the last couple days, I decided to take an easy day today. I ate breakfast at a local cafe, listened to an older woman talk for an hour, strolled along the beach, and read at the library. I had planned on doing three of those things, but I definitely had not planned on listening to an older Korean woman tell me her thoughts on marriage and the Osbournes and her Chinese boyfriend. But you know what? Giving up my time for her was worth it. I got the chance to tell her she was beautiful and deserved a man who would appreciate her and respect her. Maybe no one has told her that before!

After the library, I ended up heading back to the house much earlier than I thought. Why? I wanted to be with the family. I wanted to help out where I could and hope to ease some stress off the mother’s shoulders. So I went home and did exactly that. I played with the baby, set the table, and did the dishes. I tell you this not to brag, but to show that our life is not our own. We were meant to give ourselves away.

Let me repeat that: we were meant to give ourselves away. And guess what? Being single, we have more time and energy to be able to do that for others! So, if you are in your 20’s and 30’s and watching Netflix every night and hooking up with strangers every weekend, STOP IT. You’re not becoming a better person, and you are worth way more than that. Go find someone to listen to or buy a homeless person a burger and talk with them. Get involved with a local ministry. And believe me, you DO have time.

I am single but I am still a complete person. I just get to pour myself out to more people.

 

First Words

Hi! Welcome to my blog! Here, I hope to give you a taste of my thoughts, recipe and craft ideas, and recommendations for traveling…and probably more inspirations as I think of them…such as links to amazing talks or videos.

I’ve been meaning to blog for a long time, but I’ve hesitated for 3 reasons:

1) I didn’t know where to start! I’ve journaled for over 12 years, cooked lots of yummy food, traveled to lots of places, but it was overwhelming to think about whether to backtrack or just start from the present.

2) I’m a bit fearful of judgment. Yep, I admitted it.

3) There are already SO MANY blogs out there! Why would mine be any better?

4) I have better things to do…

And as I’ve been thinking about it (for the past 3 years), I concluded that…

1) Why not start where I am and reach back into the past when necessary?

2) Aren’t we all fearful of others’ opinions? Just some of us more than others. And exposing my thoughts is one way of overcoming that fear.

3) Sure, tons of people blog about the same things…but isn’t that the beauty of it? It shows that we, as the Imago Dei (Image of God), desire and yearn and are inspired by similar things. And we each have our own web of connections so hopefully my blog will be read by my circle of friends and family.

4) Yes, my life is full. And I’m about to start grad school. Even more a reason to start a blog where I can share my thoughts because I’ll be learning SO much!

 

So here we go, friends! Thanks for reading J